Manly Men

Watched "Contraband" tonight; not a particularly great movie but definitely one of the better ones I have seen in a while. Sure we had it figured out before the intro was over .Sure, only the good guys survived effotlessly all major confontations. And yes, the heroe's wife was impossibly beautiful even as she lay dying wrapped in a plastic sheet being covered by concrete. (the mere thought of that scene is forcing me to inhale deeply as my chlosterphobia is setting in. Breathe.)

Okay, so it should be classified as a movie I have recently scene.However, there was one scene that I cannot get out of my mind because of its application to real life men and my assumption that although there are men of all types and women who are attracted to these types - tall, short, metro, country, nerdy, blue-collar, etc- we can ALL agree that there is nothing more attractive than a man who can fight. I am talking sheer man-strength of shattering a window with his elbow, pulling a villain out of that window, head-butting him, and throwing the most perfect left hook to a face that you have come to hate- all in a girls defense.

Rewind to sometime before I was married.Hanging out at my apartment with some girlfriends one Saturday night, I get a call from my boyfriend asking if I could pick him up from "The Warehouse" as he did not have his truck. "Of course." I say and hop into my maroon Explorer with Nikki for what should be a 30 minute round-trip.My package is picked up and we are driving south on IH35 when I realize that my exit is quickly approaching. I speed past the little car in the right lane, put on my blinker and proceed to switch lanes. It was a perfect lane switch, one you may see in a student driving video even.

Well, little car man did not think so....Lights are flashing, horn is honking all the way down the feeder road clear onto Slaughter Lane. I am doing my best to ignore it as I was not feeling as though I wanted to die that night. He speeds up, passes me, and throws out a lovely gesture.

"Whew." I think.

And then, suddenly, he throws on his brakes nearly causing me to rear-end him.We are stopped behind this little angry road-raged man sitting in confusion.And then the 40 something man gets out. Colorful words and gestures are being strewn into an otherwise bleak night.

Just as I try to put the car in reverse and zoom off, he approaches my window calling me names that you would see written in a truckstop restroom next to a glory-hole.

And out goes my boyfriend from the passenger side.Now my heart is racing. Nikki and I are in the car crying hysterically and yelling, "Get back in!. Lets go! Walk away!" After all, we are girls and that is really all we know how to do. (I was actually in a fight once. To be honest, it was more like me being pulled down by my ponytail, thrown into the mud, and kicked by an old white trash woman in Lockhart because she thought I was flirting with her toothless ex-husband. Winning.)As most verbal fights do, this one turned physical. But not for long. I can see it all in slow-motion as it is forever imprinted in my mind.....My hero dodged a jab and then threw the most beautiful right hook I had ever seen followed by an equally beautiful left.

There lay the crazy guy in the middle of Slaughter Lane.Now sets in another panic with Nikki and me."Oh my God! Do we need to trace his body with chalk? Do we even have chalk? Tape? We need crime scene tape! Why do we not have that either??? Are we going to jail? Should we put something soft under his head?"Again, we are girls...

Crazy guy comes to and tries to get up to start fighting again but is quickly restrained by the same guy who just waylaid him.A few moments later the police show up. They search the now hand-cuffed guys car and find empty beer cans along with hypodermic needles and all the other contraband you would expect to find.

After a few laughs and handshakes with Austin's finest, we resume our journey home."Man, my right hand hurts." he says.

"You are so much sexier than you were this morning.", I say.

What happened to my hero?

I married him.